How do we respond when someone else gets what we want? We compare our situation to theirs. We measure our lot against theirs—especially if we think they have it better than we do.

Why can she eat whatever she wants and stay so skinny and I just look at a piece of chocolate and gain 5 pounds?

Why does she have that gorgeous face and I look so average?

Why can she barely study and make a 4.0, and I have to work so hard for a 2.5?

Why does she have such a beautiful voice and I can’t even carry a tune?

Why can she decorate and sew and paint and do photography, and I can’t even make a pillowcase?

Why does she get pregnant without trying and I am still infertile after all these years?

Why is she married at 20 and I am 35 with no man in sight?

Why does her husband lead their family and mine won’t initiate anything spiritual?

Why does she have a big beautiful home for just the two of them when our family of seven is still crammed into this little townhouse

Ever had thoughts like these?

I knew I wasn’t alone. Whenever we face things in our lives that we don’t want but can’t change, we are tempted to sinfully compare ourselves with others.

This is actually the hook-type-thing for a series they’re doing with Peter…I would seriously recommend checking it out on the link to her blog !!!

But it just got me thinking, I know especially with girls…most of us really love to plan and we really love control…but sometimes people get the things in our plan when we don’t and get the things we want when we don’t…our natural instinct is to think that we deserve  what they got and so we’re jealous, bitter, and angry. The problem is that we take our focus off of Christ and on to ourselves! We somehow think we deserve what that other person got and we forget that we do not deserve anything, we forget the fact that this day is a gift and that Christ’s compassions and mercies are new each day and just how marvelous that really is. The focus of our lives should not be on our wants but on Glorifying Christ the best way we possibly can. This might sound very elementary, however when you’re stuck in the muck and you’re in the middle of it taking the focus off of yourself and focusing on Christ is the HARDEST thing to do.

Pray for a focus on Christ’s will for your life this week and not on your plan…as a friend put it today roll with your circumstances and Christ (who’s leading you by the hand) will take you where He wants you to be…which is much better than where you planned to be.

]]> http://towritelove.wordpress.com/2010/03/22/comparisons/feed/ 0 towritelove1357 http://towritelove.wordpress.com/2010/02/28/random-things/ http://towritelove.wordpress.com/2010/02/28/random-things/#comments Sun, 28 Feb 2010 01:14:43 +0000 towritelove1357 http://towritelove.wordpress.com/?p=46 ]]> Going through my old blog was good, I deleted a lot of posts because I changed my mind about a lot of things I have written. I guess that’s what you get when you have a blog that’s over 2 years old.

Things that God has been teaching me lately has to do with identity. I have found that lately I have been feeling inadequate and in talking to other women and girls around me…it’s a common feeling that everyone deals with sometimes. But how to pull out of the depths of “I’m not _________ enough to be loved” is a difficult task.

Being adequate is all about your standards, if you are trying to impress people then you will fail and feel inadequate a lot. However, if you are living by Christ’s righteousness and not your own then you will succeed EVERY time. Lately I’ve been completely consumed with my future – what i’m going to do after I graduate, how I’m going to live off of a degree that I can not work with – and that’s made me loose sight of what’s going on right now, and God is doing AMAZING things right now in my life and the lives of people around me. My feelings of inadequacy did not just randomly come about one day…they built from every failed expectation and goal that I set for myself…but that was the problem…I set them for myself! I am not adequate or worth something only when I’m thriving in my life (perfect plan, job, salary, living situation, relationship, etc…) I am adequate and worth something because I’m living in Christ and He is my strength, my focus, and I live to glorify Him – not myself and not the world’s standards of success.

We HAVE to make living in Christ’s righteousness key in our lives or else the feelings of inadequacy will come and we’ll buy into the lie. We’ll buy into the lies that we’re not good enough, pretty/handsome enough, talented enough, equipped enough, smart enough, _______ enough for anything or anyone. It pulls the focus so far off of the Lord (which it already was) and zooms in on us, our sin, our failure, and our own righteousness failing us (which makes sense because it is worthless). Instead of buying into the lie think about living in Christ’s perfect righteousness, that our works are worthless if done out of our own strength and for our own glory, and avoid thinking that you’re only doing well when things are going well…in times of trial focusing on God through the hard times and resting in Him and allowing Him to sustain you is the right thing to do…be warned: it can hurt really bad and seem hopeless. Be encouraged by scripture and those who came before us, like David in 2 Samuel 22, to save time and space I’m only going to put a few blurbs from the chapter in here but you should read the whole chapter for encouragement.

“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.

my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,

my sheild and the horn of my salvation

my stronghold and my refuge,

my savior; you save me from violence.

I call upon the Lord who is worthy to be praised

and I am saved from my enemies.” (2-4)

“For you are my lamp, O Lord.

and my God lightens my darkness.

For by you I can run against a troop,

and by my God I can leap over a wall.

This God – his way is perfect;

the word of the Lord proves true.

he is a shield for those to take refuge in him.” (29-31)

This God is my strong refuge

and has made my way blameless.

He made my feet like the feet of a deer

and set me secure on the heights.

He traines my hands for ward,

so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You have given me the sheild of your salvation

and your gentleness has made me great.

You gave a wide place for my steps under me,

and my feet did not slip” (33-36)

I could quote the entire chapter, but I will spare you. It’s amazing and so uplifting to see David give the glory to God looking back on his life in every situation good and bad. I hope that when I’m old and dying that I can look back on my obviously not perfect life and attribute everything to God’s glory and I can attribute praise like that.

In conclusion…your identity and your worth is found in Christ’s righteousness not your own. It’s a hard lesson to learn and I’m not sure that anyone will get it perfectly in their lifetime, but this is what I think…what do you think??

Character traits:

Husband has full confidence in her – can he trust me (you) more than anyone? Do you play games?

Brings her good all the days of her life – Honoring your husband even before you meet him.

Works with eager hands – are you lazy or are you eager to work and get your comitments finished.

skip Brings her food from afar and provides food for her household…those are pretty much self-explanitory.

Considers a field and buys it – Can you manage money, and if you’re already married are you a wise stuard of your husbands money? If not, start now…the future doesn’t come with less bills.

Opens her arms to the poor – Compassionate, looks to the needs of others…but if you’re in a minivan with your kids or you’re driving alone picking up a homeless man is not the best idea…however bringing him food might be (be smart about it).

Not afraid for her household – She has foresight and she plans ahead so that when an unexpected thing happens you’ve already got a plan.

Her husband is respected at the city gate – Lifts up her husband and doesn’t tear him down infront of people. Speak well of him and propel him to greatness. If all you say are his vices all they see are his vices.

Her children rise up and call her blessed – If you are a Prov. 31 woman your children will praise you (appreciate you…most of the time ).

So…I pretty much am a sucky woman. End story.

1) Dating for mating…kind of self explanitory, but you should date with the intent to marry. Otherwise you’re only dating for “fun” and then dating for divorce because you’re dating with intent for the relationship not to last.

2) Even though you cannot really do a bible study on dating because there is nothing in the bible about dating, you can draw from scripture what to look for in a partner:

a) Girls looking for guys – look through 1 Timothy 3:1-7 as well as Ephesians 5:21-27. This will be focusing on 1 Timothy, which is depicting the qualities should be in an Elder. Elders are men who are walking in the Word and are able to teach and give wise counsel. Most of the qualities that are called for to be an elder are ideal for Godly men.

Being above reproach - What is his reputation like and what do others say about him?

Husband of one wife – As Larroux put it, “are you the baskin robins 31st flavor of the week?”

Temperate and self-controlled – Is he always right? When he does wrong is he prideful, blaming others for his actions or is he humble, taking the blame that is deserved?

Respectable - Do the women you know want their sons to have similar character to his?

Hospitable – Is he kind to your friends as well as his own?

Able to teach – Does he have the ability to spiritually lead his family?

Not given to drunkenness – Does he have a healthy, scriptural, view of alcohol?

Not violent, but gentle – If he is violent? You will not be able to change that – he will more than likely be abusive to you and your children.

Not quarrelsome – Does he debate everything and is he driven by being seen as intellectually superior, or is the driven by the truth? Can he admit when he is wrong?

Not a lover of money – Is he driven by a dollar instead of the Lord?

Manage his own family well – How does he speak of his own family?

Husbands calling:

• Headship – Guys must have the ability to lead his family spiritually, emotionally and physically (not until you’re married).
• Protection – The man’s job is intimidating and frankly, terrifying. They put their heart out before the woman to protect their hearts. Respect that, do not toy with them. They are protectors, but they’re breakable.

“1 And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, 2 in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.”

Note the dead…I was literally DEAD from my old life. I had never thought of that word with the weight that it should actually hold. Someone in my d-goup, Anna was so passionate about Ephesians 2:1 that it shocked me. It made me envious of her passion about the scripture, it seriously made me rethink my devotionals. Am I doing them because that is what I am supposed to be doing? Or am I digesting the words that I am reading…am I APPLYING it to my life and realizing that before Christ I was dead as a sinner with no redemption. I don’t know, in my experience with death, it’s final and absolute. It’s odd to think that I am alive now…in more ways than one, but for the purpose of this blog…in Christ. It’s simply amazing.