Going through my old blog was good, I deleted a lot of posts because I changed my mind about a lot of things I have written. I guess that’s what you get when you have a blog that’s over 2 years old.
Things that God has been teaching me lately has to do with identity. I have found that lately I have been feeling inadequate and in talking to other women and girls around me…it’s a common feeling that everyone deals with sometimes. But how to pull out of the depths of “I’m not _________ enough to be loved” is a difficult task.
Being adequate is all about your standards, if you are trying to impress people then you will fail and feel inadequate a lot. However, if you are living by Christ’s righteousness and not your own then you will succeed EVERY time. Lately I’ve been completely consumed with my future – what i’m going to do after I graduate, how I’m going to live off of a degree that I can not work with – and that’s made me loose sight of what’s going on right now, and God is doing AMAZING things right now in my life and the lives of people around me. My feelings of inadequacy did not just randomly come about one day…they built from every failed expectation and goal that I set for myself…but that was the problem…I set them for myself! I am not adequate or worth something only when I’m thriving in my life (perfect plan, job, salary, living situation, relationship, etc…) I am adequate and worth something because I’m living in Christ and He is my strength, my focus, and I live to glorify Him – not myself and not the world’s standards of success.
We HAVE to make living in Christ’s righteousness key in our lives or else the feelings of inadequacy will come and we’ll buy into the lie. We’ll buy into the lies that we’re not good enough, pretty/handsome enough, talented enough, equipped enough, smart enough, _______ enough for anything or anyone. It pulls the focus so far off of the Lord (which it already was) and zooms in on us, our sin, our failure, and our own righteousness failing us (which makes sense because it is worthless). Instead of buying into the lie think about living in Christ’s perfect righteousness, that our works are worthless if done out of our own strength and for our own glory, and avoid thinking that you’re only doing well when things are going well…in times of trial focusing on God through the hard times and resting in Him and allowing Him to sustain you is the right thing to do…be warned: it can hurt really bad and seem hopeless. Be encouraged by scripture and those who came before us, like David in 2 Samuel 22, to save time and space I’m only going to put a few blurbs from the chapter in here but you should read the whole chapter for encouragement.
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my sheild and the horn of my salvation
my stronghold and my refuge,
my savior; you save me from violence.
I call upon the Lord who is worthy to be praised
and I am saved from my enemies.” (2-4)
“For you are my lamp, O Lord.
and my God lightens my darkness.
For by you I can run against a troop,
and by my God I can leap over a wall.
This God – his way is perfect;
the word of the Lord proves true.
he is a shield for those to take refuge in him.” (29-31)
This God is my strong refuge
and has made my way blameless.
He made my feet like the feet of a deer
and set me secure on the heights.
He traines my hands for ward,
so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You have given me the sheild of your salvation
and your gentleness has made me great.
You gave a wide place for my steps under me,
and my feet did not slip” (33-36)
I could quote the entire chapter, but I will spare you. It’s amazing and so uplifting to see David give the glory to God looking back on his life in every situation good and bad. I hope that when I’m old and dying that I can look back on my obviously not perfect life and attribute everything to God’s glory and I can attribute praise like that.
In conclusion…your identity and your worth is found in Christ’s righteousness not your own. It’s a hard lesson to learn and I’m not sure that anyone will get it perfectly in their lifetime, but this is what I think…what do you think??
