Relationships – what to look for…?

In February I went on a Girl’s Retreat with my old youth group. I taught a lot and did my counseling, but I also learned a lot. We listened to a sermon series on relationships by Jean Larroux, pastor at Lagniappe church in Mississippi. And here’s what I learned:

1) Dating for mating…kind of self explanitory, but you should date with the intent to marry. Otherwise you’re only dating for “fun” and then dating for divorce because you’re dating with intent for the relationship not to last.

2) Even though you cannot really do a bible study on dating because there is nothing in the bible about dating, you can draw from scripture what to look for in a partner:

a) Girls looking for guys – look through 1 Timothy 3:1-7 as well as Ephesians 5:21-27. This will be focusing on 1 Timothy, which is depicting the qualities should be in an Elder. Elders are men who are walking in the Word and are able to teach and give wise counsel. Most of the qualities that are called for to be an elder are ideal for Godly men.

Being above reproach - What is his reputation like and what do others say about him?

Husband of one wife – As Larroux put it, “are you the baskin robins 31st flavor of the week?”

Temperate and self-controlled – Is he always right? When he does wrong is he prideful, blaming others for his actions or is he humble, taking the blame that is deserved?

Respectable - Do the women you know want their sons to have similar character to his?

Hospitable – Is he kind to your friends as well as his own?

Able to teach – Does he have the ability to spiritually lead his family?

Not given to drunkenness – Does he have a healthy, scriptural, view of alcohol?

Not violent, but gentle – If he is violent? You will not be able to change that – he will more than likely be abusive to you and your children.

Not quarrelsome – Does he debate everything and is he driven by being seen as intellectually superior, or is the driven by the truth? Can he admit when he is wrong?

Not a lover of money – Is he driven by a dollar instead of the Lord?

Manage his own family well – How does he speak of his own family?

Husbands calling:

• Headship – Guys must have the ability to lead his family spiritually, emotionally and physically (not until you’re married).
• Protection – The man’s job is intimidating and frankly, terrifying. They put their heart out before the woman to protect their hearts. Respect that, do not toy with them. They are protectors, but they’re breakable.

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